Upon arriving in Granada, most people will head straight for The Bearded Monkey to find a bed. I’m sure it’s a fantastic hostel — at least, it is surely the most popular, something along the tradition of Big Foot in León or The Black Cat in Guatemala. But if you’re looking for something cheaper and more offbeat, which isn’t even listed in the guidebooks yet, there’s Hostal Nicarao, very near el Parque Central.

It’s on the same street as Hostal San Angel, which is listed in most guidebooks, and which is also slightly more expensive than Hostal Nicarao, though still cheap, all things considered. In all honesty, I probably would have checked into San Angel if I’d found it first, but Nicarao was a cheap and cheerful alternative nonetheless. There is a big open courtyard right smack in the middle which keeps the place mostly bright and sunny, something which is a consideration for me since in a bid to save electricity, most places in Nicaragua don’t turn on the light in the day. So if there’s no natural light coming through it can be very dim. In fact, most restaurants and businesses often look like they are closed in the day, because it’s so dark you can’t see the inside from the sidewalks.

It’s easy to get to Hostal Nicarao. From the southeast corner of the Parque Central, walk south to the end of the first block. On the way you’ll see San Angel, and then a few doors down, Nicarao, which sits on the corner. It’s got a very colourful wall to advertise its presence. You can’t possibly miss it. And you can probably walk right in and find a bed to settle in for a few nights. There’s no website or online booking system for the hostal, and anyway if it’s full there are an abundance of other options.

It’s manned by some local guys who I suspect have a penchant for porn (but what guy doesn’t, I suppose). They close the doors after 1 a.m. but that doesn’t mean there’s a curfew. All you have to do is knock and they’ll open it for you. Knock loudly though, and be patient and wait a little bit. They have to switch the channel to football before greeting you, you see. It’s only appropriate

There are dorms and private rooms, beds are clean and bug-free, fans to save you from the heat, a communal kitchen, and I think, laundry services. They also have a resident computer, but they charge you for using the internet. I don’t remember them having hot showers, however, so if that’s a problem for you, I guess you’ll have to go somewhere else. But the weather in Nicaragua, especially in Granada, is sweltering. I had no need or desire for hot showers except when I was in the highlands like Estelí or Jinotega. You’ll probably love cold showers in Granada. Taking one in the middle of the afternoon is absolute bliss!

© Michael Hrncir

So. I don’t understand why all the guidebooks wax lyrical about Granada.

Yes, it is purported to be the oldest city on the American continent, and I guess it has got some kind of colonial charm, but the future of Nicaragua tourism it isn’t. At least, not for me, nor it seems, to the multitude of tourists passing through. I haven’t spoken to a single traveler on the road who has found Granada charming or romantic or befitting any of the purple passages dedicated to it in the guidebooks.

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